Everyone knows that guys watch porn. It’s just a fact of life. Growing up your mother might catch you and give you a hard time, but really she recognizes you’re becoming a man. My mom used to scold me and take my girlie magazines away but then I would find them sitting on my bed that night. She understood, she just felt obligated as my mother to yell at me about it. My first wife gave me a hard time about porn too. She would cry sometimes and try to make me feel bad about it. Like I wasn’t attracted to her or something. I never quite understood her when it came to most things so there’s no shock there that we got a divorce.

A few years after my divorce I met this nice gal. We really hit it off. We had a lot in common, including porn. She told me about getting the $9.95 discounted Swank Pass and I knew right then and there that she was my soul mate.